It’s my last week, and we travel back to Kanak. You know the place? Yeah, the one with 4 hours electricity a day, water when it feels like it, and a hole in the ground to sh................well you know. We were up and ready to rock and roll at 5.30am. For some unknown reason over here there is a 1hr difference in certain places. Apparently it’s due to the Government ordering a 1 hour time change, some of the country doesn't like it, so they live by the old time and some live by the new time. It works really well..........NOT! So one of the drivers was on time and one was an hour late (so glad I got up at 4.50am Huh!!)
Anyway, we managed to get up there and start work. The scene we were filming was a big one, and we were having to film it over 2 days. Now when you're filming one scene over 2 days, you're hoping for a nice location. We got somewhere out in the open, dusty, dirty and full of rocks/stones. Not too bad I hear you cry. Well, the first day went as per normal (difficult, tough, hot, sweaty). The second day was not so simple due to the fact the temperature went to 47 degrees. It’s normally around 40 degrees, which is a breeze haha, but 47 degrees heat and 2000ft above sea level make for a very tough day, especially when the scene require running and emotion.
We got down to filming and drinking water (approx 7litres a day). The scene included one of the ladies (Maria) falling backwards. On the second take, she fell awkwardly and bruised her coccyx. That made for a difficult day due to her inaction. My character’s job was to run in at speed and comfort her until the medic arrived. After 10 takes, and 10 slide tackles to get by her side, my leg looked like a scene from a horror movie. The terrain in this part of the country is basically mountains, sand and rocks, so it’s very unforgiving.
Me and the director, David Whitney, having just managed to get the take before sunsetWe finished a really tough day and went back to base. As I mentioned before, I shared a room with Shaun. Thank God for Shaun! My sanity would have been surely tested without him there. Not only is he a great actor, and a Barnsley lad, he's a top bloke. Anyhoo, after dinner we went to bed (in the dark due to no electric, and hot due to the fan not working cos of the electric.) We started our nightly chat about the day’s events (with the help of a torch to bring some light into the room, but not much) when Shaun shouted that there was a lizard on the window (he slept next to the window and I slept 12ft away, facing the window). I immediately looked over to see a shadow of something that resembled a bat in the centre of the window. I shouted "That’s not a lizard, it’s a fu**in’ bat, I'll get my camera". It was massive and I didn’t want to miss a photo opportunity. He shouted "A bat, where??" I said "There in the centre of the window!" He said "Thats not a f’kin’ bat, it’s a drawing one of the kids has done for me and it’s dangling on a bit of nylon". Turns out the lizard was about 2" and was on the sill, and the shadow I could see was a goodbye pressie from one of his kiddies. After that I got ribbed all week about the "lizardbat".
The next night was just as eventfull. We once again had a quick chat, and then off to sleep. Now it takes me about an hour to drop off to sleep wherever I am. Luckily for Shaun, he drops off quite quickly. After about 20mins (remember it’s pitch black) I hear a rustling coming from a carrier bag we have in the room. I listened again, and it was still rustling. My mind is racing as to what the fu** could be in our room now. So, being the brave little soldier that I am, I dashed over......................and woke Shaun up!! I said "Mate, there's something in our room.....we need the Barnsley killing duo quick".
We were armed with our torch and our flip flops. Looking very fetching in our pants (easy girls ha). We carefully manipulated the bag until................aarrrggghhhh it’s a cockroach!!! In one swift movement with the flip-flop, it was toast, Phew! Ok, so we went back to bed. After 10mins Shaun was back off to sleep, and I was left wide awake.........listening! Good job, because I heard another scratching noise. I gave it a minute, and it was still scratching. It was coming from near the bottom of the door, where we had carefully blocked any way in for anything. So, I bravely woke Shaun up again and we set about finding the creature that was getting under about 20kg of suitcase. We once again looked very fetching.....a little like gladiators.......only, in our pants. We lifted the bag, and there was the "daddy" of all cockroaches. It was never going to be a match for the Barnsley lads but, to be fair, it put up quite a fight. We were once again victorious, and in the midst of euphoria.........we went back to bed.
The next couple of days were mainly uneventful. Apart from me nearly getting myself killed!! The day in question was one that only involved my character in all the scenes of the day. One particular scene needed me to get quite angry. For those that think I might be an "angry kind of guy" you would be wrong. I’m quite easy going, and very very rarely ever reach anger. So in order to reach that stage, I have to really psyche myself up and it takes me quite a while to get there. Once there, I’m right "in there". Just to put you in the picture about some of the Pakistani people who have worked with us (and they have been fantastic) they don’t really understand the concept and rules about filming. Things we take for granted back home, like nobody talking in a take, or nobody getting in the actors eyeline while he's acting.....that kind of stuff. So, I’m in a car and I’m angry (acting of course). I have built myself up into a right state. When this little fu**er, whom I haven't liked since I got there (he's about the only one I haven't taken to) starts to walk right in my eyeline. Well I lost it. I was shouting, swearing, gesticulating at him. Calling him all the names you can think of including the very bad "C" word. It was only as they dragged him out of my way, and I started to get some lucid thought back, that I realised he was not only one of our security men with an AK47, but we had all thought he had some sort of screw lose. His brother is the right hand man of the Governor of Balochistan, which in turn made him quite a powerful man in his area. He had lost face in front of his people, and I was the cause of that. I started to realise that my outburst had not been the brightest move I had ever made. I was in a strange country, miles away from civilisation, in the back of nowhere with "no rules". People who had spoken with him, had relayed to me that he was very pis*ed off................that’s not good in Pakistan! Once again being the brave little soldier I am, I got the Pakistani producer Hameed to bring the little fu**er, I mean the lovely little fella over, and I apologised for my actions, and very kindly asked him if he wouldn't mind that he didn’t kill me before I went home. He was reluctant at first, but said he wouldn't kill me this time.......phew again.
My final day is tomorrow, and I will fill you all in on how that goes, and all my thoughts on my journey to Pakistan. Again, many thanks for reading the blogs and for leaving comments. I do enjoy reading your comments, so keep ‘em coming. I will leave you now, still alive and only slightly bitten.........oh and still the only one not to have had the sh**s.
Deano xx
Labels: Pakistan